The year 2013 is coming to a close, and 2014 is going to be full of new adventures as I start college at Brigham Young University-Idaho.
As this transition gets closer, I've been pondering what it means to be a "perfect" Latter-day Saint. Is it possible? What does a perfect Latter-day Saint look like, how do they live?
Fact is, they don't exist.
After graduating from high school just 7 months ago, I've felt "less spiritual" than I used to be. Reading the scriptures, going to church, and attending church has felt more as a burden than a privilege. I stopped reading my scriptures to learn and grow, and started reading them just to check it off the list. I don't pray sincerely anymore, and going to church is just plain tiresome.
Being my worst critic, I've beaten myself up SO much about this loss of motivation. But beating myself up doesn't help solve the problem, and it certainly hasn't motivated me to try harder.
Being a "perfect" disciple isn't possible in this life, and that's how it's meant to be. In the end, I'm just so grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I'm grateful that I have a Father in Heaven who loves me and always listens to my prayers.
I want to testify that those two things: Prayer and the Atonement are true. None of us are perfect, and whenever you feel like you've let yourself and God down, remember that because of Christ, it can be fixed. You can be healed. You have to be willing to work with God each day to get just a little bit better. You have to learn to forgive yourself. You HAVE to trust in the Lord when it feels like you aren't making any progress.
I'm so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. I know it's true. I know we have a loving, patient, and Father in Heaven who is a great listener. He loves me and He loves you. I know that without Him, I would not have felt inspired to go to college. And I know that with His help, I'll have the experiences and the strength that I need to make it through each day. I testify of all these things in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ, amen. :)